After doing job for almost 3 years , no message was being received saying “Your account has been credited with Rs. XXXXXXX”. My mother started getting tensed“ If you cant bag a job why did you resign?” . As I was topper in my whole study life, my relatives left no moment to comment “What is the use of so much study if she now needs to be get married to live?” All these were devastating my courage but I kept going.
So then the cycle of Govt Job preparation started as a full time job.( it was always with me in pieces)
🌻🌻
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
Once I decided to invest my time in job preparation there was no looking back. I gave mock tests daily. Brushed up my general and engineering knowledge. I stopped using any social media except Youtube for study purpose. There were a lot of failures initially when I tried my luck in diffrent exams . My desperation reached peak when I had started giving all sorts of exams like SSC CGL, Selection Post, CHSL, SBI PO, SSB other than Engineering jobs in my stream. Each day was same just Study-Eat-Study-Sleep-Repeat.
It was New Year with me being jobless with high dreams.
My failures led to success finally. My dream came true to become Govt Oficer in WBSETCL. The wait, struggle, the effort was worth it.
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My quest for growth pulled me towards IT industry with scope of learning different technologies and languages . I worked hard for a major IT firm for almost 2 years as a project developer and got onsite opportunity as well. But working on the same technology was getting on my nerves. I wanted to work in other projects to learn and work on other languages but to no avail. Gradually I was feeling I was not doing something, for which I am born. And one day I decided to quit this whole drama to restart my life again .
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The journey wasn't easy. All my friends were employed. Social interaction therefore was limited. My peers had started going on-site to Europe and USA or enrolled for MBA programmes in some of the best institutes. Some had even benefitted from job switches, an option I clearly didn't want . Each day each moment was spent thinking “There is something for Me”
Just after passing out from my college, I started working in a renowned Telecom Company as Graduate Engineer Trainee - my first exposure to an industrial world. Though job profile was good, possibility of career growth I found limited there, specially in India. So after 8 months I decided to switch my profile to the most expanding field of India.
July 2016
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